7 Reasons to Teach your Partner How to Treat You Well

  1.  Because unless you date/live with/marry your brother/sister, you’ve grown up in different households with different parents or relationship models, value systems, norms, living habits, decor, manners, attention spans, friends, pursuits and interests.  Somehow, for a cohesive, harmonic relationship to flourish, you’ll have to educate each other on how you need to be treated. And that may be very different for each of you.
  2. Because otherwise, you’ll always look longingly at couples who have and believe that the grass is greener…when in fact, the grass could be greener where you’re standing, had you been your authentic self from the get-go and voiced your needs.
  3. Because as you weather big events, joyous or tragic, you’ll need someone to have your back, and if the significant partner in your life doesn’t know what will help you to be able to breathe under duress, or what to say when something has you elated- that doesn’t  deflate the event, you will be disappointed.  The gestures of knowing either add to or detract from life’s paramount moments.
  4. Because to truly love someone is to truly know someone, to know what makes them tick, what angers them or sets them off, or how to romance them, or console them, to lift them to euphoric heights.  We all need to be known to someone. And to strengthen the foundation of the relationship, there is no better way.   It is to say, for better or worse, for all of your strengths, and your flaws, I am here for you, despite knowing you! (JK- because I know you and love you for YOU.)
  5. Because once they get old, they’re not open to learning new tricks, so do it while they’re still malleable.
  6. What if you teach them and they refuse?  They’re not real interested in a long term relationship with someone who will have expectations.  Dump him/her. Now, before you’re too invested.  Or wait and teach them it’s ok to treat you in a way that is less than you deserve, by accepting less- knowing that you’re settling.
  7. Because more than likely, and especially if they’ve not learned this so far, people want to treat people they way they want to be treated, but people in general want to be treated the way they personally want to be treated, so show your partner the way you want to be treated, and treat your partner how he/she wants to be treated.  The main idea here is to be considerate.

We navigate new relationships much the way we navigate new cities, slowly, methodically, we dig deep to discover the heart of what makes our lives flow.  We observe, interact, support, aggravate, and enhance the lives of the people we nest with long enough, and by having this very human experience, we hope to live and grow in love.  Aiding each other when we stumble.   So, if we each decide to learn what our other needs from us, and to articulate what we need in exchange, life and love will be more peaceful, kind and loving.


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